Cheryl Brown's demand that Meta's $17 billion settlement amounts to mere peanuts and that Congress must pass the Kids Online Safety Act hands unelected bureaucrats the power to police speech and family decisions alike. This activist push treats private platforms as public utilities requiring federal oversight, shifting blame from failed parenting and cultural decay onto corporations while expanding Washington's reach into every American household. The Constitution reserves such matters to individuals, families, and states, not a centralized regime that already struggles to enforce basic borders and laws. Parental authority and market accountability, not new layers of regulation, remain the proper bulwark against corporate excess and social ills. True reform begins when parents reject the nanny state's seductive offer to govern their homes.